50 football jokes to make you laugh - or groan

With the 2018 World Cup kicking off in Russia next week, football fever is upon us - after a break of approximately two weeks.

But you don't have to take the beautiful game completely seriously.

Prepare to laugh - or groan - at these 50 (clean) football jokes:

What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? "Fowl!"

What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!

I left two [insert team] tickets on my dashboard yesterday. Someone smashed the window and left two more.

Why was the footballer upset on their birthday? They got a red card!

What do you call someone who stands inside goalposts and stops the ball rolling away? Annette!

England are playing Iceland tomorrow. If they win that game, they'll play Tesco's next Saturday and then Asda on Wednesday.

Which football team loves ice-cream? Aston Vanilla!

Where's the best place in America to shop for a football kit? New Jersey!

What's the difference between The Invisible Man and [insert team name]? You've got more chance of seeing The Invisible Man at the World Cup Finals!

(Photo: Shutterstock)

What do Lionel Messi and a magician have in common? Both do hat-tricks!

The new manager of our struggling football team is strict and won't stand any nonsense. Last Saturday, he caught two fans climbing over the stadium wall and was angry with them. He grabbed them and said: "Get back in there and watch the game until it finishes!"

Why is a football crowd learning to sing like a person opening a tin of sardines? They both have trouble with the key!

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team? Because she kept running away from the ball!

What is a goalkeeper's favourite snack? Beans on post!

Why don't grasshoppers watch football? They prefer cricket!

What is a ghost's favourite football position? Ghoulkeeper!